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Lori Duffy Foster

... write to think; think to write.

Thoughts, News & Events

My Blog

Tue, 08 Apr 2014
My sister is a recent survivor of stage-four breast cancer, her second battle with the disease in eight years. During her chemo treatments -- after she'd traded her hair for scarves -- she experienced an awesome show of support from the staff at the elementary school where she works.
They all wore scarves or hats in her honor.
She was overwhelmed.
With those scarves and hats, her coworkers showed they were thinking of her, that they understood every day she came to work was a struggle and every day she missed work was a disappointment. The hats and scarves were symbolic of the strength, love, prayers and positive energy they offered.
Now imagine that, instead, they all showed up without make-up.
Let's face it.
There is a reason we feel both brave and vulnerable posting make-up-free selfies. Like it or not, we judge books by their covers, especially female books. It would be awesome if the make-up-free movement helped women become comfortable with our natural selves (I know I'm not.), and if society would become more appreciative.
But here's the trouble.
These particular selfies are not posted in an effort to affect change. Rather they are intended as a show of support for those less fortunate than us in terms of their health. We wear no make-up to bring ourselves "down" to their level, the level of people who are suffering and fighting.
We, as a society, do not accept the "natural look" as inherently beautiful. We clearly do not accept it ourselves as evidenced by the fact that we consider posting such a selfie a "brave" act -- a challenge we present to others.
It's done with a gulp and a "Here it goes!"
The intent is, no doubt, honorable.
But here's the message we unconsciously send to those battling breast cancer: "You look like crap, so I'm going to make myself look like crap to make you feel better. See how brave I am? I am even willing to look like you."
I have not quizzed my sister about her feelings on this topic, but I'm pretty sure she would have been overwhelmed in an entirely different way had her female coworkers honored her by wearing no make-up. And if she cried that day, I'm fairly certain hers would be tears of a different kind.
I'm not opposed to make-up-free selfies in general.
Not at all.
In fact, I have nothing but praise for author Laura Lippman who started the movement after an actress was heavily criticized during the Oscars for looking like herself. Laura posted a natural selfie and encouraged other authors to follow suit in an effort to take down some socially created barriers. Built self-confidence. Help females authors support each other.
It worked for me.
With my novels current under submission to publishers, I'll admit that the potential for post-publication photographic attention makes me nervous. I can't help comparing myself to photos of those always-gorgeous looking authors who seem to confident, so put together.
Then I saw this slew of selfies.
I learned that many of those women looked different without make-up, but not in a negative way. The lack of make-up drew my eyes to their smiles, something I had never put much emphasis on previously. They made me smile inside.They made me realize these other authors are just as real as I am.
And that was an awesome feeling.
They were brave to post those selfies, but brave for a different cause.
They were brave in an effort to create change.
While I am absolutely certain the intentions of those who post make-up-free self portraits are honorable and that the posts show an admirable level of braveness and humility, breast cancer awareness or support is just not the right reason.
Do it for yourself.
Do it because it feels good to be free.
Do it to free woman like me who have not yet found the courage.
Do it because you believe it shouldn't require bravery and because you want that to change.



Mon, 27 Jan 2014

Sun, 12 Jan 2014











Mon, 03 Sep 2012











Quotes

Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don't try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It's the one and only thing you have to offer.

--Barbara Kingsolver

"Writing is a cop-out. An excuse to live perpetually in fantasy land, where you can create, direct and watch the products of your own head. Very selfish"

--Monica Dickens

"Writers need inspiration, experience, caffeine and chocolate. And not necessarily in that order."

--founders of Exclusive Writer Gifts

The work never matches the dream of perfection the artist has to start with.

--William Faulkner

"Reading usually precedes writing and the impulse to write is almost always fired by reading. Reading, the love of reading, is what makes you dream of becoming a writer."

--Susan Sontag

Write something to suit yourself and many people will like it; write something to suit everybody and scarcely anyone will care for it

--Jesse Stuart

About Lori Duffy Foster

I was born and raised in the Adirondack Mountains of New York State, which is the setting of my first novel, Spring Melt. I am sister to seven siblings. I am a graduate of SUNY-Oswego (BA) and of Binghamton University (MA). For 11 years, I wrote about everything--crime, education, politics, the military, running, Native American affairs--for The (Syracuse, N.Y.) Post-Standard. That's where I met my awesome husband, Tom, co-author of Their Darkest Day, an account of the terrorist bombing of Pan Am Flight 103.
When I became a mother, I gave up my full-time career to be home with our kids. I have taught college English as an adjunct; worked as a technical writer; freelanced as a writer and editor; and started up my own Web-based business. In my spare time I write novels. My short stories have been published in Aethlon, a journal of sports literature, and in the 2011 Short Story America Anthology.
I am a writer, but I refuse to call myself an author until at least one of those books sees print (at someone else's expense).
I have lived all over the country--in New York State, Florida, Arizona, Ohio and, currently, in northern Pennsylvania.  And my hope is that one of these days, my husband and I will be able to take our kids around the country and throughout the world.